Many times in life I have an idea just “pop” into my head.
Sometime they are super random like how I can mix and match and make a new
outfit using cloths that I have used for years, or how I could change a recipe
so it is faster to make, or how I can arrange my schedule so I can accomplish
“all” the things on my to-do list. But sometime theses ideas have a more
spiritual nature. Recently, I was having my teatime with Jesus (i.e. Morning
Devotion – however now that I am a night nurse often this takes place at 5 pm
after trying to sleep during the day) and I had a really simple idea pop into
my head after reading Genesis 12. But first let me give you some of the history
of why this simple truth was so good for me to be reminded of.
Before going to college I had many people say and write to me
that college was going to be the season of my life where God was going to revel
“The Land” that He was calling me to. Many people encouraged me with the story
of Abraham and how Abraham left the land he was living in to go to a new land
(Genesis 12). Part of me could really identify with this as I was leaving the
country I had loved and grown up in for a new country I had not lived in. So,
naturally I thought that this meant that by the end of college I was going to
know what physical location God was calling me to.
However, during college whenever I would pray, ponder or
ask God where “my land” was going to be I always felt like He said WAIT.
This was really hard because I thought that the whole reason for college was to
prepare me for “the Land” not to just WAIT for it!
How can I wait? I need to do! That is who I am. I do! I do not
like to wait! But over and over again I felt like I needed to surrender my
plans and just wait. Of course I needed to still write my papers, study and be
diligent in the academic side of life, but it was in the spiritual side of my
life that I had to learn to wait and to be ok with waiting. I had to find peace
and joy in waiting.
I learned so much during this season and truly grew closer to
the heart of the Lord. But sooner than I wanted I was walking across the stage
wearing a cap and gown and cute red high heals with poked-dot black
tights. I was given a piece of paper that said I had finished college.
Most people use their diploma as part of their map to direct them to their next
route. However, when I walked off that stage even thought I had a big smile in
my face I still did not know where I was going let alone which way was North on
my map.
So after lots of prayer I moved in with my Aunt and her
wonderful family. My big plan was for this to be only a very temporary
placement. I thought to myself 3 months tops! By then I will have a job and I
will know where my “new land” will be.
Well, 3 months turned into 11 months. I was still asking the
Lord to show me “the land” He had for me and to prepare my heart for it. I was
earnestly looking and seeking with all my heart and mind to do His will and to
find “my land” where He would use me.
As time passed I was getting discouraged because I was not
finding a job. I had believe that I would live the simple American dream
formula: job + hard work = purpose (i.e. “my land”). Even though
discouragement set in at the same time I somehow felt alive. I grew so much in
my dependence on the Lord because I was not finding a job. I thought that a job
would be my compass when really I had to just really on Jesus. I needed to wait
for him to give me my map coordinates. I had to re-evaluate why I was putting
my worth in a job when really my value needs to be simply in the Lord.
I then had a friend reach out to me and tell me that her
hospital was hiring. I applied out of a sense of obligation and responsibility
more than anything else. This hospital was out of state and I did not think
that it was going to work out. So many doors would have to open for this
to even be a possibility. Well, the Lord specializes in impossible! Here
I am in a new state with that new job and loving it.
So,
I know that by this time you are probably asking, “Maribeth, What was your big
revelation at teatime?” Well, it was simply this. I was looking too hard for
“the land”. When really something bigger was there the whole time. As a
Christian I will be in “my land” when I am at my ultimate destination. However,
that will not happen until I am in heaven. For now I am on this wonderful
journey. But I must confess that I accidently stumbled onto this much more
valuable treasure. On this journey I am to actively be a part of a community,
wherever the Lord directs me. I am to love the other travelers that I meet
along the way. It is not some big revelation or calling it is just a “new” way
of seeing my reality and using my compass. I need to find ways to serve and
enjoy the route that the Lord has given me today. While letting Him be my TRUE
NORTH and trusting that He will reveal the map coordinates that He wants for my
life in His perfect timing until I reach “my land” which is in reality “His
land”. So for now I am just enjoying the journey.
